Life in the Box: Lightness and Joy

Maybe it’s the Demerol. I hope not. This morning, the day after my colonoscopy, I awoke with a feeling of lightness, happiness and a quiet glow of joy in my heart (and intestines.) Yes, a day of fasting and then the effects of the painkillers might have combined to cause this feeling, but I hope not.

This much lightness and joy are not my usual waking companions. Not that I’m a dour person. I’m usually feeling pretty good upon waking; most mornings I do a mental list of “gratitudes” for my life situations. But today I was tangibly lighter.

This is the feeling I wish I could hold always. Wouldn’t that be a wonder? Like the laughing Buddha, I could face all life with a grin. The Dalai Lama always seems to be giggling with internal happiness. Why can’t we all be like that?

That’s the other thing. I’d like to clone this feeling and distribute it to everyone I know. Heck, why not share with everyone? What would the world be like if we were all feeling so good?

Life without jealousy or greed. Pleasant interactions abounding. Feelings of abundance that stimulate generosity. 

I just looked up the side-effects of Demerol: sweating, constipation, nausea, lack of appetite, tremors… no, the feeling I have is not a Demerol effect. Is it from fasting a day and clearing out all the clutter from my colon? I don’t think so.

Possibly, it’s just a coincidence that this joy is happening the day after this procedure. It could be a reaction to the fact that during the process a polyp was found and removed. Is this relief that cancer could have been prevented? No, it doesn’t feel like that.

I have to concede to the reality: feeling happy and light like this is just a gift. I accept it. I will share it as best I can, with these words and this added little prayer: “Let the joy in me lift you, and may the joy we share spread freely!”


Nancy Heather Brown is a retired, Emmy Award-winning television producer whose career has included interviewing, writing, narrating and editing for a span of four decades. Today, she enjoys learning new things and reflecting upon the creative process and life issues, both inside and outside the box. Her opinions are her own, and are not necessarily those of this web site.


Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.