Escape into Chris – Entry 2

Understand Still by Nick Lepard

February 2007 – Normal, IL

“…What I’m a finding overall is that this image I have of myself in my mind should not be taken so seriously. Who I think I am is an illusion. Yes, I’ve devoted myself to writing but there is nothing remarkable, nothing truly genius about my writing now. The only thing that separates me from the average person when it comes to writing is my obsession with it. I am always focused on what I have to do to improve my writing. It doesn’t matter what I write and perhaps it never will matter what I write. It is the journey I crave, I crave a place to go inside myself and not the neurotic hall of mirrors I’m usually in, but the mysteries of the unconscious. I am an explorer – some travel to different places, I travel inward to different places. I am not content staying in this mental dimension. I wish to travel, to see other domains, to experience other realities. Perhaps that is why I am so attracted to cultivation. By cultivating myself I become something greater, something more than what I had seen.”