The Secret of Fulfillment
Today I center myself not in conflict but in fulfillment. The free-will of perception allows us to see either the one or the other manifesting in our lives. It’s all a matter of what we are focusing on: the battles or the victories. As humans, we have the capacity to be fulfilled in so many ways; but we tend to let our conflicts override our blessings. To me, fulfillment is the realization of a dream (something I’ve always wanted for myself), feeling utterly self-satisfied and free in one’s own world. Balance brings me fulfillment, pleasure does not.
My life today is less a sequence of conflicts and more a search for balance and harmony. But, at the same time, I don’t actively search for anything. I try to make everything in my life happen as effortlessly as possible, full of grace and without striving. “Searching” implies exertion and there is no exertion on my part in terms of balance and harmony.
So then, you may ask, how does it happen? I attempt to slip into patterns of balance and harmony. The Buddhists call this “abiding in our true nature” or “resting in oneself”. The only way to achieve this balance and harmony is by being receptive, responsive, reflective, and aware. By being aware of my feelings throughout the day (awareness), and allowing them space to be inside me, I find it easier to spot a sense of dis-ease in my body early on, which is really a conflict waiting to happen. Writing in a journal (reflection) also allows me to chart my thoughts and emotions throughout the day; thereby exposing the roots of any troubles I am having within myself. Mostly, however, I feel my way toward a sense of balance and harmony (receptiveness and responsiveness). Intuition, I have found, is my greatest asset in living equably.
Balance is something I have to hold onto gently, as in holding objects in awareness during meditation. The soft touch of diffuse awareness allows me to be simultaneously present to many objects at once; this aids my sense of balance. When I give too much of my attention to any one object, then I lose my balance. This happens in my relationships with people a lot. I easily get sucked into a friend or a lover’s drama and I find myself going for a ride that I didn’t ask for. Attachments cause me to lose my balance; they also cause me to suffer. A craving is an extreme attachment. When my attention becomes fixed on a single thing, I lose my balance. It is as simple as that. Harmony and balance is then the result of seeing the “big picture”, which is the architecture of the whole symphony of one’s life and not the little 1/8th notes.
As for fulfillment, I often have to tinker with my perception. The golden rule is that fulfillment is something you bring to yourself, not the result of a good set of circumstances. Fulfillment resides in my perception and in my attitude in life, not in the things themselves. Everything that gives me fulfillment today is relatively small on the outside; but on the inside, I am fulfilled and I am happy.
We cultivate
fulfillment and satisfaction. Because
our fulfillment exists within ourselves, we plant the seeds for that outcome of
bliss to occur in us.
We tend to think that the objects themselves give us the satisfaction and the fulfillment. But objects can only give us pleasure; we must bring fulfillment to ourselves. No object in and of itself will bring fulfillment. Fulfillment is found within us because we bring the value to the objects in our lives and this in turn fuels our fulfillment. When the apartment is quiet and I have the opportunity to lie down on my couch, rest my head on a pillow, and open up a book, then I am fulfilled. So simple. So basic. But I am made so happy by this simple act. I bring that joy to myself. What we find in ourselves is an infinite supply of happiness, like a boundless ocean of joy. But we are so concerned with finding happiness outside of ourselves—in other people, in money, in material things—that we overlook the essence of our very being, which is love, a love we can give to ourselves.