No-Mind

The past—the conditioning, the mind—is constantly molding you and destroying your present. So remember, and be aware. Be skeptical and doubting about your mind. Don’t trust it.

Freedom creates fear, and meditation is the deepest freedom possible. You are not freed only from outward limitations, you are freed from inner slavery—the very mind, the base of slavery. You are freed from the whole past. The moment you have no mind, the past has disappeared. You have transcended history; now there is no society, no religion, no scripture, no tradition, because they all have their abode in the mind. Now there is no past, no future, because past and future are part of mind, the memory and imagination.

Osho

It is common to see the mind as the source of personal identity, the home of the ego and the intelligence, and as a prize to cherish and defend. Less common is it to look upon the mind as something to get rid of, as an encumbrance and as a barrier.

According to Osho, the mind is an accumulation of the past, an accumulation of beliefs, concepts, notions, habits, and memories that I carry around with me everywhere I go. More importantly, the mind is something I identify with. I identify so deeply with the mind that I almost never question it. This “stuff” that comprises my mind is all borrowed material. Nothing in my mind is original and yet I have pride in my beliefs, in my knowledge, in my opinions. Even my identity is borrowed. Over time, I’ve assimilated the attitudes and beliefs of others into an idea of my “self”.

I was driving in a car last night with two Christians. We were driving to Flanagan, Illinois to do service work for Narcotics Anonymous. The three of us, regardless of our spiritual or religious beliefs, were coming together to help adolescent drug addicts. As they tried to explain their beliefs to me in the car, I listened very little to what they were saying and mostly told myself, “Oh well, I know better. All religions are one. God is called by many names, but Truth is one.” But I didn’t realize at the time that this too is a belief of mine. I carry this belief around just as they carry their beliefs around; I am attached to my beliefs just as they are attached to theirs.

All humans act alike. Two Christians may tell themselves they are better off than me because they have found Jesus Christ, and I may tell myself I am better off than them because I am “more spiritually evolved” in comprehending the oneness of all religions. Both of us are still operating at the level of ego; neither of us acts “spiritually” in the situation where we are trying to convince the other of the truth of “my way”. God, just like everything else, becomes an object for the ego to identify with.

My “more spiritually evolved” beliefs are conditioned just like everyone else’s. All beliefs contribute to the formation of mind and therefore serve as a hindrance and a barrier to freedom. It is better for me to be without mind, no-mind, without thoughts and beliefs. Beliefs are an accumulation of the past, knowledge too. I identify with the material I collect along the way and use it to shape my identity. All of it must eventually be let go of, relinquished, abandoned; if not right now, at least when I die.

But it is better to get rid of these hindrances before I die. These beliefs, these notions, these concepts, these thoughts, these identities of mine create the very mind which imprisons me. To be free, I must dissolve the mind and my attachment to the mind. Life goes on in the here and now, when I am present to my experience, not when I am lugging around my cumbersome philosophical beliefs and religious ideologies and endless political opinions. Life is engagement, not hiding under an accumulation of personal beliefs, opinions, and knowledge. These barriers remove me from my experience, from feeling, and from the movement of the breath. What is important for me today is to simply be aware, be alive, and be pure.

My mind, and the pride I have in my mind, not only separates me from myself and my experience but it also separates me from others. “I am right, he is wrong.” How many times have I told myself that? “I’m smart, they’re not as smart.” How many times have I told myself that? “Am I as liked as he is?” or “Do people still think I’m great?” This is the insecurity I carry around in my mind; wanting people to admire my mind, but really fearing that I will say something wrong; something which will cause people to fall out of my favor.

As long as my mind is involved, people will be less than or greater than me. I compare and judge constantly; in fact, comparing and judging is one of the primary functions/faults of the mind. That is how the mind discriminates, by judging. Not until I renounce the mind will I be able to fully see myself in others, and realize that I am no better and no worse. I go around pretending that I see myself on the same plane as everyone else, but really I think I’m better, and secretly I am full of pride. This is the American Way: we masquerade with democratic, humanistic, and universal ideals, but in truth we harbor deep-seated resentments and feelings of superiority toward others.

To escape from the self-bondage of the mind is the goal. The purpose is to dissolve the mind, not to build it up. The purpose is to remove the contents of the container, not to fill it up. The fact of the matter is that having opinions and beliefs leads to defending them, defending them leads to proving yourself right and others wrong, and this leads to conflict and animosity with others. This is also true for having likes and dislikes, which lead to cravings and aversions, while cravings and aversions lead to suffering. The goal is to have no opinions, no likes, no dislikes; but instead, to be present and not held down by the past.

The common assumption is that if I have no opinions and no likes and no dislikes then, all of a sudden, I will become a bland person, or that I will become indifferent to the world, or that I will have no individuality. This couldn’t be further from the truth. When I am fully present to the world, I am anything but indifferent to the people around me. In fact, I am more alive than ever before because I am completely free to act in any way, that is, I have the complete freedom to be myself. My actions are spontaneous and creative, rather than habitual and routine.

I continue to have desires and I continue to speak my mind. The difference is that now I am acting in the present without carrying over any preconceived ideas and beliefs about myself. By giving myself the space to surprise myself, I create a whole new realm of being. I discover that I’m not confined to those boxes I put myself in before.

If I am present to my taste buds it doesn’t matter what flavor ice-cream I chose last week, because this week I feel like Rocky Road. If I am present my ethical sense it doesn’t matter what my opinion on the war in Iraq was yesterday, because today, right now, I feel strongly that it is wrong. What matters is how I feel now, what I believe now, what is true now. If I am fully present I will respond in the most authentic way possible, authentic in terms of my true feelings and my true self. I will be myself in that very moment, not conforming to what I usually do, or how I always act. I will allow myself to be born in the moment and my consciousness will be pure, uncontaminated by past belief. I will experience life as it unfolds in the present.

Peace is at zero. That means, no thoughts, no concerns, just observation, awareness, and experience. Without the mind, without the ego getting in the way, everything quiets down and I resign myself completely to my experience. In my moment-to-moment experience there is no “me” to defend. And I don’t even have to ask myself if I agree or disagree with so and so, Christian, Buddhist, or Hindu. I can just nod my head, embrace the moment, and go with the flow.

9/30/2005